When me and my girls sit around and talk about dating, the topic of birth control always comes up. We usually talk about our experiences with birth control and how it fits into our daily lives. Most of us swear by the shot, while others are quite content with birth control pills.

When asked if our significant others knew about our birth control options, they all replied their SO never cared to find out, and they never thought about informing them. I think both parties in a relationship should be equally educated about birth control. I always think it's better to be safe than sorry regarding birth control.  My friend Al used to ask about his gf's contraception to make sure they were on the same page. They both would find the time in their relationship to discuss these option just in case anything were to happen.

Along with birth control options, there comes a point in every relationship where both parties need to discuss their feelings on sexual protection as well. I know that lots of people find that topic taboo, but if I love myself and believe in protecting myself and my partner doesn't , there won't be a relationship, let alone relations!


How do you discuss contraception with your SO?

This weekend I went out to celebrate my homeboy's birthday at this hot Carribean club in Long Island. It was a great scene. The music was on point and there were plenty of cute guys around to dance with.

The b-day boy happened to dance the night away with a girl he met through a friend of a friend. He was "in love." Not really in love for real, but you could tell he was really into her. he was trying to make a "love connection".My night was completely the opposite. I couldn't dance with one guy without another one asking to dance with me afterwards. I danced the whole night! (which never happens) 

My other guy friend asked, "So you a guy magnet, huh?" I just laughed. It was funny because my club experiences have never been like that at all. Most of the time, I went out with my girls. I was in my comfort zone, so I never took the opportunity to actually meet other people I just stayed in my little clique. Going to this party by myself gave me the courage to trying something different. It was like I was another person.. I met new people and possibly found  some future potential. Who knew it was that easy?

How do you handle the party scene?

After a break-up, I usually sit down and
see what went wrong in the relationship in order for me to learn from those mistakes. I also take a while to be alone and appreciate the things I've learned about myself. But there are others who quickly jump back in relationships because they tell themselves they are unable to function without one.

Take for example my friend Crystal. After she got out of her last relationship, you could always find her at the bar on the weekends throwing her self at some random guy. She was desperate for the attention. I understand that the unresolved issues of her past relationships made it hard for her to accept what makes her special, which in turn made her act they way she did. When all of my friends got together to give her some type of intervention, she didn't want to hear it. A couple days later, she was back in a unhealthy relationship.

Her desperation could be seen a mile away as she did anything the bf asked. She was so focused on trying to make the relationship work, it was like she stopped living her life. She only did the things he wanted to do. She stopped expressing her opinions on various issues, and she even dropped her friends like a bad habit. Her bf couldn't stand the fact that she didn't have a life outside of him and he dumped her. Crystal, then realized how her actions caused the relationship to end. She didn't want people to identify her as "that desperate chick," so she slowly but surely got on with her own life and started to appreciate herself.

How can you tell if someone is desperate? How can someone stop being desperate?